-maybe it isn't a case of how unwell I am
-it's a matter of it's no point in me looking for work,studying or working
-the things are just too imprctical
-and I have physical etc illnesses so I am better off on a type of Sickness Benefit
-my costipation problems being a lot of it
-varying at different times of the year
-there are periods that might go on for a few weeks
-if I go out on my bike my pants get soiled
-meaning they noticably smell and if I sit down on a toilet seat it leaves a distint mark
-and it is not practical for me to avoid the toilet all day everyday when doing a course etc
-it's helped if I shower before I go out but it's still a problem
-my bowels often surge by early evening
-not currently in the day but they could
-I don't even try to hold off going to the toilet and some might pour out
-really noticable to anyone there
-and I have a wind problem
-maybe starting by late afternoon
-every day by now
-I am passing wind loudly over an extended period
-it hasn't happened recently
-but there were the times I hadn't passed bowel motions for a few weeks
-it would be any time
-my body would surge and I couldn't help urinating
-my body really shakes during this
-I can't even walk 2 blocks without gerting tired
-and my ankles might be getting sore by then too
-caused by osteoporosis
-there's the real problem feeling like my mind is becoming unhinged
-it only takes a nasty comment,or a simple bad moment sometimes to set it off
-I used to get it every time I would go out after midday
-like an erratic mind
-I tend to fumble things al lot and keep making mistakes
-that frenzied feeling is probably caused by mental illness
-when I am feeling like this there is no real point in trying to work
-it hampers anything I do
-also to me my thoughts are like close to disordered thoughts and paranoia but they are not the sames as that
-and in the same way I'm not delusional but my thoughts are like them
-the real problems I deal with-
-the chance I will be trapped in a grueling marriage with the wife having public affars
-maybe put in an unhappy marriage to an extent even if I prove my story
-the risk of getting a sex change forced on me
-and the big risk of anotther person getting my record deal
-maybe even the songs I wrote for myself
-being really isolated
-maybe because of the other artist coming along
-or what stars put in their work
-that I get really shunned because of my past
-me being in the direct path of people like the Anti-Christ
-and what they might do to me
-the problems I see of the media productions maybe made on me
-Anthony Hay like Archie
-Mills Reef Winery like Falcon Crest
-me messing things up with God
-maybe to the point he wants a new Messiah
-the huge chance I will be unpopular with my family
-I already get picked by non-identical twins
-a man like Superman maybe switiching something I signed-like for a marriage and Power of Attorney contract
-and stars have put evidence of the above in their work
